Hello my friend. When spirit informed me that it was time to grieve and let go the stone in my heart I felt puzzled. Did I have a stone in my heart? Why was I not aware? I remember a few years back I came across the book, The Emotional Code, by Dr. Bradley Nelson. At that time I already knew when information entered my reality there was a reason for it. Nothing is random. I know it really feels random, but hey that's the game we came for. This was when I read in detail about heart walls. Dr. Bradley Nelson did
a great job explaining these energetic walls we create around our hearts. Why? But of course to protect ourselves.
Ok, let's get back to energetic stone in my heart. I was carrying grief and I was completely not aware. I knew my heart was open, meaning I didn't have a wall around it, but never suspected that I was carrying grief. And so it was time for me to go within and feel my grief.
Recently I had made a lot of changes in my life. I divorced my husband. Married for 24 years but together for 29. Moved out of the house and away from my daughter, that recently graduated high school. If you knew me, I used to joke that I was going to college with my daughter. I didn't want to be separated from her not for one day. Empty nest syndrome, nope not for me. And so it came as a big surprise to leave my baby, who is not a baby. She stayed in the house with her dad, going to community college. Let's just say I had been counseled by my non physical mentors for a year to make this decision and act upon it. And on top of it, I quit my job and started my own business. Can we say stepping into the unknown!
But why grieve? I made these decisions. I had to grieve for all the changes I experienced as little Isabelle, all the moves, all the new schools, loss of friends, homes, and feeling secure. As I started to grieve the loss I felt, allowing the emotion to be. I received the message to grieve for my old way of life. I received the message be like Grandma Moses an American Folk Artist (1860-1961), who painted her way of life starting at the age of 78. And so . . . I started thinking how did I live?
I remember I used to stress out so much around school. All the English papers I had to write, or cramming for tests. Employers getting mad if you arrived five minutes late to work. How at times I felt like a slave to my home, cleaning and cooking feeling it was never ending. . . . And what's up with cleaning floors? I used to get so frustrated that I had to sweep, vacuum, then mop! Jeez. And that's how I began to cry by examining how I lived. Raising a daughter, being married, being the corporate woman . . . all of that had changed. Who am I without these roles and activities?
I took my time at this, sensing this was important. I had made many moves in my life, Chicago, Montreal, Dallas, Ohio, Connecticut, Atlanta, back to Connecticut. And now I can look back fondly at my old life. I can appreciate it. Not see it as wrong and smile. Grieving allowed me to let go the old pain.
Feeling our pain and letting go is necessary. Our heart is way more than an organ in our bodies. Our heart was designed to feel emotions. And when we do not let go of our pain we stunt our growth. Imagine a beautiful tree in Autumn. As the leaves die, they change from green to a magnificent red, orange or yellow. Now let's say the tree does not shed all of its dead leaves. The following Spring, the tree would have new growth and dead leaves. In the spots the tree did not shed the dead leaves, a new leaf could not grow in its place. This how we stunt our growth. We do not make room for the new or let in more light.
And so I ask you my friend. What leaves have you not shed? What are you holding onto that you have not grieved the loss? I stand by your side and love you tremendously. Be brave and courageous and go within.