I can tell you this was really hard for me even being mentored by the celestial beings. I have been in Corporate America since I was 14 years old. At times I loved it and others times super frustrated.
Being a great problem solver and people pleaser, I gave it my all. No matter where I worked, I always had an overflowing amount of projects, emails, calls, tasks, responsibility . . . . And could never keep up with the demand. Hey, if I just work harder, smarter, longer I'll be able to catch up. Right? There has to be a down time soon, a slow week a break. And yet that never happened, it was one fire after another. I worked while have my cheek swollen from a tooth infection, in pain, but no way could I go see the Dentist in Quarter End. The team needs me, I will go the next day, it can wait, I worked until midnight. And this didn't happen to me only once my friends. My body was giving me signs all along, but I couldn't see at that time that my work-life balance was out of whack.
It took three root canals and losing a tooth that I had the courage to talk to my Director. I said Cathy, my restaurant is full. We added tables on the rooftop, we have a patio in the front and back and I can't squeeze in any more tables. Yes, I know there is a line out the door. The folks in that line will either wait, go to another restaurant or go home. Chez Isabelle restaurant is full. And so Cathy, you might here some complaints or grumblings around this but for you, you can cut in front of the line anytime but everyone else they will have to wait. I can't loose another tooth, I need to eat in life and have a work-life balance. I meant it, and that's when I choose myself first, created harmony and balance a boundary at work. And you know what Cathy said, after laughing. Ok, Isabelle.
Did I get fired? Did the Company come to a halt and loose millions of dollars? No, did folks test my boundary? Yup and I lived. I pushed past fear and choose myself.
I had a bundle of beliefs around work. I had tied my worthiness for doing a good job, or solving a problem, or completing a project. If you tie your self worth to outside validation, when you do receive it, your ego and little child will freak out. You will feel emotional pain and will do anything to avoid that pain so you control everything you can. The next thing you know you are on the hamster wheel of life. Running and running and doing and doing to avoid emotional pain.
That wasn't the only rooted belief I had around this. I also could not let anyone down. If they were counting on me, I had to be there. I had to rescue them. Have you heard of the Drama Triangle? Being the rescuer means I need victims to rescue. Fires to put out, problems to resolve.
And of course everyone else needs are more important than mine. Yup another belief of mine that was very deep.
It took me many experiences and a lot of soul work, to examine my beliefs, accept the things I do not prefer and bring it into wholeness. It is a process for everyone friends. Some of you are aware of your limiting beliefs, some of you are not aware you have underlying limiting beliefs. Some of you are hearing about limiting beliefs for the first time. What are limiting beliefs? Limiting beliefs are beliefs that are not empowering.
How would you answers these questions?
Do you have a fear of letting down someone?
Do you believe only you can do it? Only you can do it right?
Are you happy in your job? Love starting your day?
Do you feel trapped? Not sure what else to do?
Afraid of change?
Are you putting yourself first or others?
Can you ask for help? If no, why?
Are you afraid to speak your own truth? Afraid of what others will think?
Are you judging yourself? Not doing enough and being enough?
And so be easy on yourself if you do not have work-life balance. It is hard because there is so much in play. The first step in an energetic pattern change is awareness.
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