There's a lot to receiving and uncovering what you believe is a process. I've been mentored around this for years and today, I uncovered that I held the belief it is not safe to receive.
My first level of understanding is that receiving is equally important as giving. I was shown the infinity symbol and the energy of giving and receiving must flow. When you block giving or receiving, that energy get's stuck and blocked. All energy must flow, your energy must flow.
Can you give and receive graciously? Goddess Athena received offerings of coins, flowers, fruit, stones for her guidance and wisdom. Did she scoff at these offerings? Turn them away? She received these offerings with an open heart, with no judgements and attachments. She received graciously.
Giving graciously is from the heart without an expectation or outcome, it is flowing your love. You do not give because you have to, or want something in return. Often we give because we feel it is the right thing to do, or it is expected of us from society. We are tethered with these little threads that limit us being authentic and free. Do we give to feel worthy? Do we give to be liked or to be a good citizen? Ask yourself why are you giving? Are you giving out of fear and control? If you do not give does it trigger a negative feeling within you?
I can relate to this personally. Often I felt I was not giving enough and stressed over how much to give. I didn't want to be judged and was judging myself and so being generous felt good as it was tied to my worthiness. It also fed into my need to be a rescuer. I started asking myself why I was giving. To feel good? Not to be triggered? Awareness is the key.
Giving in joy feels different. It is a high vibration, you are tuning into the inspiration and being in service in that moment. You are flowing your love and energy. You are not attached to judgement or outcome. You give freely and let it go.
Why do I not feel safe receiving? My mother used to confiscate my toys, promise me something then break it or withdraw the promise. My mother's giving was tied to fear and control. My experience was tied to my own worthiness. Am I deserving? Am I not enough? Am I a good girl? She played a perfect role for me and put me on my path. I adopted the belief it was not safe to receive. I rather not receive then experience the loss of love. In the higher truth everything is my own energy.
Little Isabelle is sad and scared. She does not want to feel the withdraw of love. She does not want to feel judged and made wrong. She wants to hide instead where it is safe and go without. I am sitting with little Isabelle and holding her. She is worthy no matter what. She can receive graciously like Athena and give in joy. She can be free and just be. She is love.
And so my beautiful friend, may you flow your own love in freedom, receiving and giving. You are worthy no matter what. You are safe.