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Do you avoid conflict like the plague?


This lesson was a doozy for me and took me several years to work on it because it was so deep. As you know I am a reformed people pleaser and it is very easy for me to slip into that role or vibration. I am still practicing asking what do I want . . . as it is easy for me to focus on other wants and needs. Making other folks happy does feel good, but my fellow people pleasers out there, you know you can feel depleted and exhausted. We have created a dynamic where we must have problems, victims in order to please. At first it felt very counter intuitive for me not to focus on others happiness. I get it. I had to take baby steps to redirect my focus.

So as a people pleaser, what is the effect of that role? Do you think I experienced conflict? And even if conflict came up, what do you think I did? That's right, I would have done anything to solve, resolve and smooth out any ripple of fear.

During my career, personalities types were a focus in order for us to relate to our co-workers. Were you taught Myers–Briggs? What personality type are you? Or how about Disc Styles? What style are you? These assessments of different personalities are a piece to the puzzle for understanding. It can help you figure out your own preferences, likes, and what roles you feel comfortable in. It also gives you insight around your energy. Everything is created within my friend. You are attracting everything in your physical reality through your vibration. Understanding personality types is great for a people pleaser because then you know what they like! It is why I loved studying personality types.

Let's get back to conflict. Conflict is a fear within, a limiting belief is like a chord being struck within the person. When you feel fear, it means you are not in alignment with your innerbeing, you have a limiting belief. You are not responsible for resolving another person's limiting belief and you are doing a disservice resolving another persons fear.

For now we are going to let this sit with you. You might have been conditioned and taught to focus on others, resolve any conflict, give, please others, etc. And so this concept that you are not responsible for another happiness you might have heard before, but perhaps didn't connect the piece with conflict. The next step is not to focus on the other person's fear but rather your own. We will go into that in Part 2.

During the next few days, let's observe conflict within society and your own life. Can you see the fear? Can you see a belief? The vaccine is a perfect example of a conflict within our society, or opposing political views. We are just observing my Scooby Doo Detectives. There is nothing for you to do but be aware and observe. Yup, this is a baby step.

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